Sunday, May 30, 2010

i admit !

i admit dat i love eu .
but, sometimes , i think i shud just not saying those words
dat is LOVE .
bcs sometimes , mybe i think , me myself , dun even know wad LOVE means .
idk .
and yeahh .. i LIKE eu .
and i want eu to be mine .
but, as eu know, i would be away from eu.
and, it might be hard for both of us .
bcs of dat,
i decided to just hold my feelings .
and i think eu deserves someone else .
someone else dat cn make eu happy .
happier whenever eu're wif me .
frankly speaking, i dun even see our future tgther .

its hard for me to say LOVE anymore.
and evrytime guys said I LOVE YOU ,
i just sigh'ing =.=''
its hard for me to believe in guy's word.
it takes time for me to believe in guys again .
mybe i cn easily fall in love wif guys,
but., im not dat type of girl dat eu cn simply be fooled .
guys sometimes, not all of guys , but most of it,
always take us ( girls ) for granted .
huhhh .. if only guys cn gv me an honest answ !
you might see me SMILING, LAUGHING ,
but, deeply inside my heart, do peoples know ?
its a big NO !

! LOVE !
might be a simplest word to say !
but the hardest word to explore the meanings .
and the word dat cn make us HAPPY .
and the word dat cn make us HURT .
the word dat cn make people hate each other .
the word dat cn kills many lives .
and etc.
dats the power of LOVE word !


*signing OUT !

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

sadness !

dilema cinta by ungu !

seberapa salahkan diriku
hingga kau sakiti aku begitu menusukku
inikah caramu membalas
aku yang selalu ada saat kau terluka

seberapa hinanya diriku

hingga kau ludahi semua yang kuberikan untukmu
tak ada satu pun perasaan yang mampu membuatku begitu terluka

namun ku terlanjur mencintai dirimu
terlambat bagiku pergi darimu
bagiku terlalu indah perasaan itu
tak mudah untukku menjauh darimu

telah ku coba segala cara
'tuk bahagiakn dirimu
merebut hatimu
namun tak semudah yang ku bayangkan
bila kau tak inginkan ku 'tuk disisimu

tak pernah ku rasakan sebelumnya
menginginkan dirinya hingga ku tak kuasa
meyakini hatiku bahawa ku mampu berlalu

very meaningful for me .
haix .
if only he know how i feel .. ~
its true dat girls' tear r expensive .
but, i cant stop it !
it just come evrytime i think of it !

shit happen !

whye eu did tis to me ?
convince me bout ur love twards me ,
then , when im falling in love wif eu ,
eu just walk away ,
and just ignore me !

im trying so hard not to fall in love anymore ,
but , eu convince me wif ur words .
whyee i shud trust eu ?
sedangkan , eu never tell me the truth !
im regret of knowing eu .
if i know tis is wad dat probably happen ,
i wont say those LOVE words to eu .
bcause eu never appreciate it .
i told eu , dat my weakness is easily falling in love ,
and eu just said , its okae , bcs i love eu too !
just hush okae ?
eu will never mean evrything eu said to me ~
lying is ur NUMERO UNO !
haix .

whyee i always feel this way ?
is dere anybody dat TRULY and HONESTLY loving me ?
haix !
how i wish MUSLIM could allow SUICIDE .
siak ~
im lost ryte now when im thinking bout myself .
im toooooo stupid foe believing him .
and yeah , eu're sooooooo KNNBCB when eu cn easily lying to me and make me fall for eu .

congrats to eu .
just take note ,
wad goes arnd comes arnd !

*fadeup of tis lyfe !


Thursday, May 20, 2010

just updating blog (:

gaining weight ! haixx . better go exercise and diet !
nvm . i still love d way i am ~

well, yest went to dance prac at RP .
so muchh fun !
seriouslyy .
dunno whyee , but i feel lyke superb HAPPY .
and even dat day im in very goodmood .
first ,
i got moneyy to spent .
second ,
we ( our dance crew ) celebrating Sya's bday ! BASH .
and so muchh fun !
third ,
dun feel awkward anymore in crew .
and feel lyke already know them long time ago.
and fourth ,
mama understanding my passion in dance ,. YEAY !

me and ice !
make the crazy thingss .
mepek pew .
stated at FB dat we're in a relationship,
relationship as in MATAE .
haha ..
kekek siaa ICE .
ice start the thingss , when ,
got this app at FB dat ask us so much qn .
and one of it dat hv been qn'ed to ice is.,
wad she would say to ME, if she know dat she could never speak to me again .
the answer is I Love U . HAHA .
ice mepek ~
then , we both start to mepek !
and ATT !
its lyke PRANGAI siol ..
but then , yea ,.. its FUN !
haha ..

hmm , very tired leii ~
yest sleep at 3am !
haix ~
then , nari ice ajak me lepak at jurong , i said im tired .
so cant lepak wif them ~

nvm , next wed will meet eu oll kae . ~

miss all critikaluciousbeatz crew !
muahmuahmuah .~


*signing out


Saturday, May 15, 2010

eu're such a JERK .

eventhough eu cheated on me ,
i dunno whye im still loving eu .
foe me ,
ur love is still the best !
thankss foe come in myfe even it just foe awhile .
even i cried so many times ,
eu will never be mine AGAIN !
bcause eu're already happy wif her .
eu keep on saying dat i have other guy ,
but, see , im still single and dun even DATING wif anybody.
but eu ?
eu dh pon MATAE wif her .
anyhow , i'll pray the best for eu and her .

keep in ur MIND that i 'll always LOVE eu .
i hope eu WONT REGRET of wad eu've done now .

and dat ASSHOLE is YOU .
eu're such a JERK .!


Tuesday, May 11, 2010


yest was otp wif YAT.
my frens laa, we're knowing each other thru TAGGED .
being frens since dec 09 if im not mistaken .
nahhh , nvm bout dat .
and yeah , he rarely call me .
so yeah , rarely otp .
but we never meet up bfore .

so yest,
he confessed his feelings ,
at first he is like malu2 gytu nk ckp .
abeh mcm hiding somthing ,
so i was like curious to know,
ape siaa ? just tell laa kann ..
abeh dier tros bilang ,
" i suke eu "
i was otp wif him, abeh bile dier bilang gytu,
then i was like , ???
speechless oii !
tak sangka laa kan ..
we're being frens bout 6months,
abeh bilang dier suka aku ,.
okaelaa . i neva said anything ,
bcause foe me , im used to b fren wif him.
and furthermore,
i'll be going to stdy in next month .
so, dowanna hv any r/s foe now .

so yeah ,
to YAT, if eu read tis ,
we're be just fren oke ?
like ur personalityy ,,!
cn sayy like eu more to frens .

bbyeOLL .

*signingout ~

Thursday, May 6, 2010

thinking ~

yest cant sleep ! fikiran about someone .
someone dat saying he will wait foe me no matter wad .
see his profile and see his status, and dere's " my heart get stolen "
hmm .. happy foe him ... but yeah , deeply, NOPE !
i cant sleep when i think back bout our memories .
talking , smiling , talking crappy thinggs , argue'ing , irrits one anther ..
haixx . i miss those moments .

things dat make us separate and start far from each other is when im att .
yeah, i know dat i love him more . but, when he always like gv me excuses ,
when i ask him to show me the proves dat eu love me .
then , he said , WAIT WAIT WAIT and WAIT !
and, from dat i know dat he's not being serious wif me .
and i decided to choose another guy dat wanna stead wif me .

and yeah, after dat baru kao nk dtg kat aquhh,
and ask me to leave my BF, bcause eu want me .
i refused to . bcause i love my BF .
but now, im sgle ..
where are eu ??
GONE wif ur new LOVE ?

whatever it is , i hope eu'll find ur happiness wif her .
i wish eu all d best and goodluck .
i know who i am foe eu .
im NOBODY compare to her in ur heart ryte ?
noproblem yaw .

*smiling lyke dere's ntg happen ,
laughing to hide my sadness ,
dancing to forget bout anything .,
DRINK ? dont make me done dat .
siakkk .. wad i was thinking .. ~

*signing out ~


gotta do something to release my tension.
to forget all my probs foe awhile .
so i decided to go dance prac .
pat republic poly.
so, i went dere yestt .

foe e 1st tyme mit critikaluciousbeatz.
but, not all of them laa .
certain peeps only.

having so much fun wif them laa .
they're FUN peeps .
but yeah , tis is my first tyme,
dancing hiphop!
KEKOK peww ..! dats wad muzyy said uh
okelaa . nvm !
first tyme pew, memg laa ..
so, cant aspect more laa ryte ?

but yeahh ,
look forward to meet them again nextweek

they are soo nice and friendly.



Tuesday, May 4, 2010



if only he know how i feel ryte NOW .
i miss him , i love him .
i miss his voice , his manje'ness .
what have i done ?
im extremely love him .,
but then , i ask foe break up ?
haix .
my fault
patch ?
dunno leii ..
my ego'ness makes me said " NO WAY "
deeply inside my heart ,
i want him BACK !

if only he cn know how much i love him .
im soo stupid foe let him go .
but, im stupid too if im still dere , wif him .,
while he's gg out wif other gerls
and neva tell me !
dunno .
confused wif tis feelingss .

i alwayss see my phone and check
is dere any text or call from him ?
then , NOPE !
haix .
i miss his name appeared on my phone .!
hmm .. ~

im not point out his wrong ,
i know its all my FAULT .
my fault

other probs is ,
i need to find a job ASAP !
only have 2 monthss .
after dat gone to univ . STUDY ..
hmm ~
where cn i get money to lighten up my parents' burden
especially my mom .

dat tyme she sayy ,
" lepas ni , mesti mama boring, awak takde nk teman mama jalan2 , pegy pasar . tis house could be ntg without ur noisyy voice singing and yelling . "
and , ryte after then , i look at mum's face , PINK .
about to cry !
its hard foe me to leave her .
i love MAMA so muchh ..
i wish i no need to go . but, i hv to !

its complicated .
lyfe is so complicated ~


*signing out ~

Monday, May 3, 2010

the end !

between me and Apiz ,
dere's nomore Us .
dere's ONLY ME .

080310 - 020510

lost in r/s AGAIN huhh ?
siakk .

nvm !
dowanna have any r/s foe now
bcause i got to further stdy .
univ ..
so , i cant even commit in r/s .
bcause i have to stdy hard
and mybe if im att ,
it will be hard
and cant meet him .
once in 6months
siakk ,,..
cannot leii

good foe Apiz too .
mybe im just burden foe him.
he have to call me ,
he's in Spore , im JB .
if he gotta call , international call .
rabak pehh dye peyhh bill nnti ..

and , he will no longer have to call me,
and payy bill yg melambong lagikk after tis.
and he will not suffer foe not meeting me foe monthss .

its foe our own good laa .

hmm ..
thinking of him
but yeahh , ntg more dat i can do .

im asking foe breakup wif him 2days back.
bcause of some reasons .
no need to elaborate more .
and yeahh .
dats the best i think .


*signing out !